While I certainly haven’t read every book under the sun, I’ve come across various types of written works during my journey as a reader. From stumbling through Dr. Suess as a five year-old to dissecting ancient Greek plays as a college student, I have witnessed a plethora of writing types, styles, and mechanisms. Though the wonderful, vast world of literature has greatly enriched my life, along the way, I’ve picked up on multiple things that I disdain, too. Yes, I really do have writing pet peeves. Most readers probably know what I’m talking about. When I was in high school English, one of my often-expressed pet peeves was, “If Charles Dickens goes into another four page monologue AGAIN…I’m going to throw this book in the bird feeder in hopes that the crows ravage it.” I interviewed a few of my co-workers in the University Writing Center to get a few outside opinions, and I think we compiled a pretty convincing list of complaints. I hereby declare that if any author includes one of the following literary nuisances into his or her work that they shall be banned from the creative world. Because that’s what creativity is all about, right? Conforming to one idea and squashing out all outside opinions…no? Oh well; I’m still going to share my pet peeves anyway.
- Using fragments excessively (see what I did their…I mean THERE. We’ll talk about that later, I’m getting ahead of myself.)
My friend, Alfred, described to me a reading experience in which the author was so prone to beginning new chapters and scenes with small sentence fragments that he was too annoyed to finish reading the story. I know what he means. We’ve all stumbled across that YA suspense novel that’s attempting to twist every emotion inside us by throwing grammatically nauseating half ideas at us. It might read a little something like this,
Darkness. Can’t see. Hands sweat. I grip again. Nothing. All is lost. Where am I? Oh, that’s right. Work again. Burger King at four in the morning. Simply mind-numbing. I can’t stand it. This blasted job. The sizzle of the fries rings in my ears. No hope. Just carbs. Woe is me.
Similar to sentence fragments, the attempt to come across as deep and poetic can often appear as just the opposite. The author might think that those hard-hitting, three word sentences can’t possibly grow old, but let me tell ya, readers catch on fast. Maybe at first we released a dreamy sigh when we saw that darling metaphor, something probably akin to, His eyes sparkled as a forgotten ship still dreaming of sailing in glory, which now rests at the bottom of the vast azure sea. Yet, when these types of pathos-infused sentences are consistently written throughout a story, it’s tiring. It can even be annoying, and in my personal experience, it may entirely turn the reader off to the point of the story. Too much of a good thing is no longer a good thing, concerning this.
- Using the wrong word
My coworker, Nathan, presented this pet peeve as well. There’s nothing more frustrating, especially when texting or emailing, when our dear friends, whom we love despite their flaws, can’t seem to grasp the concept of using the correct “there” or “to” or “your.” I’d like to take all of these offenders on a friendly picnic which includes both a quaint wicker basket full of bite-sized sandwiches and a grilling grammar lesson. My hope in this endeavor is that they would walk away informed and determined to not cause further literary confusion in their writing. You’re welcome. See? It isn’t so hard to get the hang of it.
- John Green
*Listens to sound of teenage girls banging my front door with pitchforks as I sip coffee safely indoors* No, you didn’t that read that wrong. And YES, I am a warm-blooded, fully-human, teenage girl. I am John Green’s target audience, and yet, I cannot stand his writing. I know he means well and that his stories have harped the heart strings of millions of adolescents worldwide. However, I just can’t take it seriously, and I find it a little humorous that I am supposed to find his stories serious. To be fair, I have only read two of his novels. I tried to read The Fault in our Stars when it was at the height of its literary fame. I mean, everyone was talking about it and my friends begged me to read it. I gave it a whack. I pretty much gagged through the whole first chapter. I mean, Mr. Green, I know you’re trying to be relatable and all, but neither Hazel Grace nor Augustus Waters were believable to me. Sorry, but my peers don’t engage in philosophical conversations which end up not being philosophical in the slightest. I’m down for reading about thought-provoking ideas, but not when they are presented through ludicrous scenarios. I’m merely saying that as a teenage girl, I would find it more weird than romantic if a boy confessed his love to me and immediately followed it up with, “and I know that love is just a shout into the void.” Then like…why say it, moron?
Though these annoyances have merely scratched the surface, I’d like to think they cover some of the most grieving irritations to be found. However, don’t let these get you down. Reading has a lot to offer. Chances are, you aren’t as cynical as I, and you will probably learn a great deal from your reading experiences. But if you do happen to notice any writing habits that really burst your bubble…*evil grin* tweet meeee! Let’s be friends.
Written by Karoline Ott
Personal Twitter: @Karoline_Ott
UWC Twitter: @dbu_uwc
Goodreads Inc. “A Quote from The Fault in Our Stars.” Goodreads. Goodreads Inc., 2016. Web. 25 Feb. 2016.