One Giant Leap for the Introvert

Read the following statements and see if any of them accurately describe you:

• I do not enjoy large crowds.
• Eye contact with strangers gives me a panic attack.
• I would sooner parachute into the Atlantic than strike up a conversation with someone off the street.

If one, or any, of these statements resonates with you, congratulations! You might have social anxiety, and therefore may be interested in walking through Jessica Pan’s similarly anxious journey in her book, Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come: One Introvert’s Year of Saying Yes.

Pan describes herself as a “shintrovert,” a shy introvert, and goes to great lengths detailing the disdain for social interactions in the way only a shintrovert could (5). There are anecdotes about bursting into tears at a surprise birthday (out of fear, not joy) and pretending not to speak English in order to avoid conversations at a bar. However, within these stories is Pan’s realization that she is very unsatisfied with her circumstances. She finds herself lonely and depressed, not as a result of being introverted, but rather because of how she sees herself as an introvert. While she once “had been a happy introvert, [she] had managed to wedge [her]self into a hole, through fear, insecurity, and stagnation” (Pan 8). This sets up the entire premise of the book: Pan will spend a whole year as an extrovert.

The rest of book goes through Pan’s journey of “extroverting,” and what follows can only be described as a convicting transformation for her introverted readers (10). From talking to strangers on the street to performing stand-up comedy, Pan takes on all of her social nightmares with a level of humor and vulnerability that paints a very authentic picture of breaking through insecurities as an introvert. There are also very personal events sprinkled between these social challenges that Pan calls real life interludes, such as flying to her father’s open-heart surgery. While these interludes interrupt the flow of her journey as an extrovert, they serve as an accurate reflection of the unexpected bumps and bruises that life throws at us as we embark on new and exciting challenges.

As an introvert myself, I found this book wonderfully relatable and incredibly convicting. Of course, Pan’s descriptions of being curled in the fetal position before attending a social gathering made me think to myself, “Wait, did I write this?”. More importantly, though, Pan’s honesty on how her deep-rooted insecurities created a gaping hole in her social life hit me like a train because I know that I have used my introversion as an excuse for my social struggles. My first year of college was plagued by loneliness because I barely knew anyone, and I created a similar hole of fear and insecurity for myself. I felt that my loneliness and inability to branch out of my comfort zone was just my tragic fate as an introvert. However, when Pan delivers lines like “I wasn’t depressed because of being an introvert; I was an introvert who happened to be depressed,” they pierce my soul because I know exactly what leads a person to come to such a conclusion (5). It felt like I had tricked myself into thinking that my introversion was the uncontrollable source of my depression, but lines like these expose the false reality that I, and many other depressed introverts, create as a result of our deep-seeded insecurities. Walking through Pan’s escape from a depressed, introverted hole gave me the confidence to start tackling my own fears as a shintrovert. Not only am I not alone in my struggles, but there is also a way out. It just takes a very scary leap of faith.

I highly recommend this book to everyone. If you are an introvert, Pan’s journey reminds you that your social anxieties are valid and that there is still a path to happiness. If you are an extrovert, this is an incredible glimpse into the mind and heart of an introvert, and it can help you deeply connect and empathize with your introverted friends.

Written by Ryan

Image Credit

Seize the Summer Before It Captures You!

Summer…

Let that word sink in.

Hold on to the seat of your pants, because we are almost there.

For me, summer holds the promises of new things: respite from the never-ending burden of school, fresh air (it was always there but finals takes precedence), the only weather Texas takes seriously, watermelons, time with family and friends, or TIME in general. Maybe for others, summer takes a different form, but summer usually gives joy regardless of work or school.

Summer is a time most people dream about and yet squander when it arrives. Enjoy the entirety of your summer! Do all of the things you actually wanted to do when you dreamed about it during finals week or on that particularly hard day. Maybe you wonder: “How can I accomplish everything in the summer?” Fear not, my dear, for I am here, complete with bucket list and the training you need to become an expert at enjoying your summer (yes, you can put this on your résumé). 

Bucket lists contain anything you want from all of the outrageous activities denied to you during the school year to baking cookies for your mom. Keep in mind that not everything on the list must be accomplished for you to enjoy your summer. The list contains a general guideline for your summer to be a bit more exciting than the last and maybe learn a few new things on the way. The most important rule for your summer bucket list, though, relies on how much fun you have making it. Don’t make it a chore. Instead, focus on everything you wanted to do since you were a child all the way until now and figure out what would be fun or fulfilling for your summer.

I will start with my own summer bucket list either to give you inspiration or encourage you along the way:

1. First, I would like to sleep. I know this is what everyone does in the summer, but I’m referring to the sort of sleep that energizes instead of makes you want more. I want to go to bed on time and wake up excited for the rest of the day.
2. I want to read books. I don’t mean my textbooks or books for my research paper on a boring person who does something important in history that some university professor finds somewhat important for academic success. I’m talking Peter Pan, re-reading all of Lord of the Rings (appendix and all), books that have collected dust on my shelf for the past few years, neglected, watching me pay attention to their boring cousins for school.
3. I finally also get to start writing my own books that I have mapped out for years but never took the time to sit down and work on. So many creative ideas bloomed in past summers that I just avoided, and for what? Doing absolutely NOTHING? The absolute atrocities of summers that I can look back on and say I did nothing gives me pain.
4. On that note, I also want to work on all of the drawings and illustrations that help me think through my book processes. So many characters live rent-free in my brain that should live on paper and take a life and meaning of their own.
5. Alone Time. I swear this is less depressing than it sounds. I want to either go outside or sit in a library for an entire day without the unnecessary interruption of people. Then, I can just think or enjoy my one day of me devoid of stressing about anything else. Reminder: it is important to get to know yourself. Sometimes we forget or become terrified of knowing ourselves too intimately, but please understand that there is no better person to hang out with than yourself. You understand all of your own jokes. You do not have to be afraid of yourself not liking your song selection or food taste. So, enjoy that time alone with yourself, far from the pressure of life.
6. I want to buy all of those Crayola products I wanted when other kids brought them to school. I think this is self-explanatory. I am an adult now, so I can buy the things I couldn’t as a kid. (Use this type of bucket list point with discretion.)
7. I want to learn to cook dishes deemed worthy by Gordon Ramsey himself. I’m not talking cooking straight from recipes. As useful as that is…boring. I want to throw things together and know that they will taste phenomenal.
8. Eat watermelon. I really crave watermelon right about now, but I eagerly await the day when I can dig a spoon into a watermelon (don’t you dare touch mine) and just…enjoy. 
9. I want to plan some bomb outfits for no other reason than I want to look good.
10. I’m going to finish all of the like ten shows that I watch simultaneously throughout the school year and finally bring them to completion, as sad as that will make me.

Hopefully this sort of list proves helpful as you map out your own summer adventure. While this is not even everything I hope or plan to do this summer, it  gives a taste of the sort of things you can add to your own bucket list. Be creative. Learn something new. Most importantly, have FUN! Have a blessed summer and don’t forget to give yourself a pat on the back for coming so far.

Written by Eleanor

Image Credit

Happiness, Revenge, and the Count of Monte Cristo

Looking for a story of romance, revenge, and a triumphant return, all wrapped neatly in the setting of a nineteenth-century European drama? Well, look no further than Alexandre Dumas’ The Count of Monte Cristo. The story begins with its hero, a thriving young man named Edmond Dantès, enjoying the best that his little hometown has to offer. The popular young Edmond works a steady job, has many good friends, and even finds a fiancée, Mercédès. But things quickly change for Edmond. Several local men—Danglars and Mondego—find themselves murderously jealous of Edmond’s life, career, and soon-to-be-wife. The men, with the help of a powerful man named Villefort, frame Edmond for committing treason, and Villefort sentences him to life in prison on his wedding day.

Officials promptly incarcerate Edmond. There, he meets the elder Abbé Faria, who takes Edmond under his wing. Faria and Edmond become fast friends, and during their time together, Faria gives Edmond two precious gifts. First, Faria educates Edmond until he knows how to handle life beyond a small town on his own. And second, Faria makes Edmond memorize the location of a legendary hidden treasure, located on the remote island of Monte Cristo, so that when Edmond escapes from prison he can claim it as his own. Faria dies, and Edmond uses his clothing as a disguise; Edmond then acts as the dead Faria, and his jailers throw him into the ocean beside the prison. He swims to shore and locates the untouched hoard on Monte Cristo, becoming its sole owner.

The remainder of the book follows Edmond, now operating under the title “The Count of Monte Cristo,” as he uses his almost limitless amount of money to bless those who blessed him and curse those who cursed him. Edmond’s ultimate goal throughout the book rests on revenge against Danglars, Mondego, and Villefort, who betrayed him and ruined his life well over a decade prior. In an attempt to refrain from spoiling this classic novel, suffice it to say that Edmond becomes a far cry from the kind young man readers meet in the first pages of the story. What occurs after Edmond’s years-long period of waiting to meet these men again is over, I will leave for the reader to discover.

This novel significantly impacted me when I first read it. The story itself could be compared to the biblical story of Joseph in the book of Genesis, a favored young man being betrayed by trusted men in his community and rising to power in a new part of the world, only to meet the traitors once again later in life. But while we all know how Joseph’s story ends, The Count of Monte Cristo takes a different turn. Edmond’s character changes dramatically over the course of the story, and by the time it comes to a climax, I felt entirely unsure of what choice Edmond would make. And as the story ended, I wondered what I would have done in Edmond’s place. This novel is more modern version of Joseph’s story, albeit somewhat twisted, which makes it more relatable. I placed myself in Edmond’s shoes, which caused the story to affect me all the more.

The conclusion of the story brings many questions to mind. Are traitors worthy of forgiveness, or are they worthy of revenge? After Edmond’s wonderful life is ripped away from him, what role does money play in the correction of that happiness? Alexandre Dumas explores all aspects of these themes throughout his story. Ultimately, he intended this novel to teach the reader that forgiveness is the greatest end; it is not man who will make all things right, but God. In the meantime, forgiveness remains the healthiest choice for body and soul. I highly recommend The Count of Monte Cristo. The lessons I learned from this book helped me immensely in situations, large and small, that called me to forgive. Dumas’ work taught me to live life with a looser grasp, to let go of fear, and to dispense anger sparingly. This book is a must-read for anyone who enjoys classic tales of love, turmoil, and the price of morality.

Written by Jessica

Image Credit