Though my time here at the UWC cowers in comparison to my coworkers, the myths surrounding our office no longer remain foreign to me.
With spending a good chunk of my time, each day, sanctioned in this windowless (though beautifully lit) and seemingly distant basement below the library, it should come as no surprise the misconceptions and eerie stories that arise.
As an introvert, I understand not wanting to venture all the way to the LC just to ask a quick question or schedule an appointment. I even understand feeling so overburdened with social anxiety to opt out of calling us! However, as any good relationship expert will tell you, communication makes or breaks a relationship, and you beautiful students and the UWC share just that. Subsequently, with communication comes clarification. Therefore, the first half of this post discusses some of our most frequent misconceptions:
We edit/red-mark your papers: We cherish your time and applaud you on being so diligent in your writing process, and want to ensure your writing stays entirely your own! All our students harbor such beautiful and creative minds, and we exist to help you better utilize them, not replace them. This looks like a collaborative process, filled with back-and-forth dialogue and answering any questions or concerns you might hold. When you leave your session at the UWC, we hope you leave more confident in your own writing skills, and how could that possibly happen if we provide you with only scratches of red ink, on your paper?
We help with research: While we do offer help for brainstorming a paper (yes, you can schedule an appointment just for brainstorming!), help with research remains a job better suited for our lovely friends upstairs in the library. However, if you feel so obliged to come see us after you acquire all that new knowledge, we can process those things with you, and see how you can effectively incorporate them in your paper.
We guarantee A’s: Just like as all of us come in different sizes, shapes, cultural backgrounds, and early life experiences, what you write, what we work on, and ultimately how a professor chooses to grade that work proves a no “one-shoe-fits-all” ordeal. As much joy and significance we find in helping you improve as writers, we never guarantee an A.
With those shared and communicated, let’s move onto more “traditional” myths–the spooky ones:
Our door remains open, meaning all the noise outside find no escape from our ears. We sometimes overhear the purchases and dropping of various food items from the vending machines, the interaction of students in group projects, and the ever-so-lovely cranking of the scantron grader. Unfortunately, included in this list of familiar sounds rests the opening and closing of the elevator, just right outside. Now, this normally isn’t too odd a scene. One only expects the frequent use of the elevator with the number of stairs that cover this hill we all love and adore. However, you might understand our gawking when those elevator doors swing open and not a single soul walks out or in. This rarity reveals the first spooky myth of our beloved UWC: the ghost in the elevator.
We consultants owe our receptionists so much credit for bearing some of our toughest client interactions with grace and professionalism. I only imagine how thick their skin has grown. While handling unideal situations in person stays a much more difficult experience (but perhaps I feel that way because I grew up in this era of texts over phone calls), you might underestimate the strange amount of blank phone calls we receive. Blank calls meaning the phone rings, we pick up, and give our charming greetings only meet with the buzz of a dead line or even worse: unresponsive breathing. On a lighter note, we also pick up on scam and sales calls. Which we prefer, though, depends on the day.
Most interesting of these myths, to me, remains the Dirt Room. If you possess any of the same thought processes as me, your mind initially refuses to imagine we mean a room filled with dirt. You might flatter ideas of metaphorical usage, or some sort of inside joke–something creative. But alas, when we speak of the Dirt Room, our rather predictable first impression proves correct: it exists as a room filled with dirt. The purpose of this Dirt Room, however, depends on your imagination. Here at the UWC, we discuss possibilities ranging from odd storage to crime cover ups and a potential zombie attack refuge.
And with that, I close this week’s blog post. Hopefully I cleared some things up and provided some extra incentive to come hang out with us for a bit. As eternally entertaining our “ghosts” stay, I must admit we do prefer real live company and conversations. Imagine, though, how awkward a session with one of our ghosts might prove to show!
Written by Gayle